June 7, 2021
We’ve even talked about this on a previous podcast, but we feel so strongly about this, we felt it was worthwhile revisiting.
Here’s what perfectionism can do to you as a graphic designer AND as a business owner AND as a human:
Consider that perfectionism may just be the kryptonite in your design business.
Brene Brown, author of the wonderful book ‘Gifts of Imperfection’ (along with many other amazing books) talks about perfectionism like this:
“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It’s a shield. It’s a twenty tonne shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from flight.”
– Brene Brown.
If you haven’t read ‘Gifts of Imperfection‘ by Brene Brown, we highly recommend it.
We can pretend to know it all during a meeting, or we can decide to say ‘I’m not exactly sure what you mean, may I ask you some more questions around that?’. Can we go deeper? By pretending to be perfect and across every detail, we may lose our authenticity.
When we strive for perfection we risk not showing up as our authentic selves. And the truth is people are drawn to authenticity like bees to the honeypot. They are drawn to the real, imperfect you.
Worse still, with perfectionism, we can risk not showing up at all.
The fear being if you show up without being perfect, people will see you for who you really are, and you won’t measure up.
Send off that not-quite-refined design to your client. Go on, we dare you—consider it like ripping off a band-aid.
Step outside of your comfort zone. Experiment with this and see what happens. Will the world fall apart? Will the client not like what you have done? Most likely everything will be okay.
Have the courage to be imperfect, to be vulnerable.
Look at this an ongoing practice, not a ‘I’m finally cured of perfectionism!’ kind of thing.
This a technique we gleaned from Brene Brown, where you actually write yourself out a permission slip to be imperfect.
Put it in your pocket or put it somewhere where you can see it every day as a reminder. You could set it as an alarm on your phone.
Some ideas for your permission slip:
How does that last one make you feel? What’s your level of discomfort?
We’ve found that as time goes on it feels far worse to consistently disappoint yourself than to disappoint others.
Is it because you are a people pleaser? Is it because you don’t like to disappoint people? In fact, it might even terrify you to disappoint people?
Do you lose yourself because you want to be everything to everyone? Is it because it hurts when people don’t like your creations? Is it because you don’t feel worthy enough?
Brene brown says that we try to combat ‘not being enough’ by pleasing, performing and perfecting.
So here’s another affirmation for you:
I am enough. I am enough. I am enough.
This is another great one from Brene Brown and also Marissa Peer is a great ambassador for this too.
We end up saying ‘yes’ a lot of things when deep inside, we really mean ‘no’.
In ‘Gifts of imperfection’, Brene discusses a mantra she lives by: “Choose discomfort over resentment’. By this she means, choose the short term discomfort of disappointing someone by saying no….to feel the short term sensation of your skin crawling because you are sending out something that is not quite right. To choose that momentary discomfort is better than experiencing the deep resentment towards yourself and others when you give in to perfectionism.
How you can apply this concept to your design business is:
Here’s a little role-play exercise for you. Imagine your client makes contact 6pm on a Thursday and says ‘Can you whip up this flyer? I’m so sorry but I need this by tomorrow…thank you so much!’
What are you going to say. It is an immediate yes? Or are you going to pause and consider the impact on your business and your life.
Who are you actually trying to impress with this project?
Are you fussing over details because you’re worried about what other designers think? What friends think? What relatives may think?
Are you agonising over details that didn’t matter to the client’s bottom line or their results. Is it an ego thing? We’ve all been there.
Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Take notice of your inner dialogue and consciously take notice of the words you are saying to yourself. Are you your own worst critic? Talk to yourself with self compassion and kindness, as you would with a loved one.
If you’re interested in understanding more about self-compassion as a practice, you might like to explore Kristen Neff’s research here. https://self-compassion.org/
It can be very liberating when you release the burden of perfectionism and take on board this concept of ‘done is better than perfect’.
Awareness is the first step. If you can look at yourself from the outside in and ccatch yourself, you may just be able to stop the perfectionistic behaviours in its tracks.
So beautiful designers, take the pressure’s off. It’s not that serious…it’s DESIGN! It’s not like you’re on an operating table making an incision into someone’s heart.
Make it a fun game or challenge for yourself…oooh can I really design this thing in 2 hours? LET’S GO!
P.S This episode may be a Brene Brown love-fest but honestly, there is so much gold in what she teaches for Graphic Designers.
The video below is over 10 years old, but still as relevant today. It’s well worth 4 minutes of your time:
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